


Go Take a Shower

by GalaxyEnby



Series: Remus is a Horny Trash Man who Loves Janus [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: And Deceit is very gay, But Remus is Remus, Fade to Black, It's all about the Implications, Just you can tell that's what they're doing, M/M, Making Out, Nothing explicit, Remus has tentacles, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, The making out is not described, i really don't know how to tag this, kind of smutty?, lots of implied stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 07:57:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21096056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxyEnby/pseuds/GalaxyEnby
Summary: Remus wants a kiss, Deceit wants him to take a shower. Of course, Remus protests in only a way Remus could.





	Go Take a Shower

**Author's Note:**

> Uhh tell me if I need more tags please?

He was just trying to read. Simple.

Then Remus came and sat himself in Deceit’s lap, shoving the book away.

“I’m bored, Dee Dee.”

He raised an eyebrow. “So you decided the best course of action would be to bother me?”

Remus nodded enthusiastically. Deceit laughed quietly and rolled his eyes, putting the book to the side.

“And how do you propose I make you less bored?”

Remus pretended to think (the key word being pretended. After a certain point Deceit had become convinced there was no brain in there to use). “You could… kiss me?”

He wrapped his arms around Deceit and slouched, looking up innocently.

“Well, since you asked so nicely-” Deceit was interrupted by Remus’s lips against his own in an enthusiastic kiss.

Although it wasn’t his first time kissing Remus, each time was certainly an… interesting experience. This one _was_ a nice kiss, until the taste of something disgusting invaded his senses.

He pulled away and made a face, his nose scrunching up in disgust. “What the hell have you been _eating_, Remus?”

“Uh, deodorant, what else?” He beamed at Deceit, leaning in for another kiss. Deceit put his index finger on his forehead and pushed him away.

“I’m not kissing you until you brush your teeth.”

Remus immediately turned to puppy eyes, a powerful weapon. Deceit turned away, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on the ceiling.

“Puppy eyes won’t work if I can’t see them.”

Remus let out a huff of disappointment, but didn’t dignify Deceit with a response.

Then he bit his neck.

“Remus!”

He laughed. “I didn’t kiss you.”

Deceit shoved him off his lap. “No _touching_ until you’ve brushed your teeth, then.” He thought for a moment. “And since you didn’t listen to me, you have to take a shower too.”

Remus’s jaw dropped. “That’s not fair!” He protested.

Deceit’s smug look taunted him as he picked up his previously discarded book. “On the contrary, my dear, I would say it’s perfectly reasonable.”

Remus pouted on the floor, crossing his arms petulantly as though he were a child protesting punishment. 

There was no movement other than Deceit turning the pages for 5 minutes. Neither Side wanted to concede to the other, both too stubborn for such a preposterous thing. Eventually, Remus got bored.

“Please, De-”

“Shower and teeth, first.”

Remus glared for a few more seconds, but got up and made his displeasure known, loudly. Just before leaving the room, a sly smirk wormed its way onto his face and he started to pull his shirt off.

“Don’t mind me, just getting ready to head to the shower!” The smile kept its place as he whistled innocently, sneaking glances at Deceit out of the corner of his eye. He pulled his shorts down and was left in nothing but his underwear.

He could see Deceit’s human side turning redder and redder and he teased the waistband, about to pull them down. Deceit’s eyes flicked up, away from his book, and he flushed even brighter.

“Like what you see?” Remus pushed them down fully and Deceit choked, standing up and slamming the book shut, keeping his eyes on the ground.

Remus cackled manically.

“Put- Put your clothes back on!” Deceit tripped over his words, trying to avoid looking up. Remus stretched and yawned, arms high above his head.

“I’m going to shower, Double Dee, I thought that’s what you wanted?”

Deceit sputtered and squeezed his eyes shut. “Then go take the damn shower!”

Closing his eyes was a mistake, as he soon learned. A hand skimmed under his shirt and started to lift it. His head shot up and he saw a very naked Remus standing right in front of him. If possible, his face turned redder.

“R- Remus!”

He arched an eyebrow cockily. “Yes, Dee?”

Deceit buried his face in his hands, embarrassed beyond belief. Fortunately, Remus knew when to quit and stopped pushing it. 

“Fine, I’m going, I’m going.” The laughter in his voice was evident as footsteps left the room. Deceit peeked through his fingers, making sure he was gone before uncovering his face fully.

The shower upstairs started and Deceit collapsed onto the couch, still bright red. 

And then came the telltale signs of being summoned. He resisted the first few calls, trying to calm down and seem composed, but when Thomas summoned him, he had no choice but to listen.

That was why, when he showed up, he was still blushing. Very noticeably. Virgil smirked and covered his mouth, hiding his laughter. Roman looked at him in bewilderment, as though he didn’t believe Deceit was capable of a human thing such as blushing. Logan looked ready to take notes, and Patton tilted his head. 

“What has you so flustered?” Roman asked, a teasing tone in his voice.

Deceit, still recovering from seeing Remus in a… less than decent state, couldn’t think straight (Of course he couldn’t think straight, he was gay. Very gay. For a certain Side, perhaps.).

“Uh- nothing.”

“Wow, Deceit, I thought you were good at lying, but that was just pathetic.” Virgil spoke up from his corner. Deceit just glared at him.

“Yeah, Jekyll and Lied, what happened?” Roman smiled broadly, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Thomas looked curious for an answer and Deceit struggled to come up with a suitable lie.

Caught Remus in the shower? No, that was as bad as what had just happened. Why was he even thinking about Remus in the shower? The way the water would run down, rivulets leading straight to his- _No_. Straight thoughts.

The other Sides were still waiting on an answer. Deceit looked like he had short-circuited. 

Roman was about to repeat his question when someone rose up behind Deceit. Roman instinctively summoned his sword, and Thomas cringed back.

The figure, cast in shadow, loomed over Deceit. Tentacles emerged and Deceit figured out they weren’t looking at him at the last second. He turned around and shouted, the tentacles grabbing him and pulling him down. 

Then it was gone. 

Roman slowly put his sword back. Thomas look terrified.

“What was that?” He yelled in distress. “It just took Deceit!”

Roman was unbothered. “Oh, just my brother. Don’t worry, he probably won’t kill Deceit or anything.”

Thomas looked even more horrified.

Remus was, in fact, _not_ killing or mutilating Deceit in any way. They were currently on the floor of the Dark Side’s common room, and Remus was on top of Deceit, attacking his neck.

Deceit still had very many gay thoughts running through his head, and was not objecting to the treatment in the slightest. Remus’s tentacles were slipping under his shirt and under his waistband and he was slowly losing all coherent thought-

Roman screeched. “I thought Remus was going to be torturing you, not getting in your pants!”

The Light Sides were there. Thomas had seemed so worried they had agreed to help Deceit. Obviously a mistake.

Patton looked scandalized, covering his and Thomas’s faces. Logan mainly looked interested in the tentacles, and Virgil was ignoring them, used to this kind of behavior.

Roman, as previously mentioned, was shrieking.

Remus shook his head, sending water droplets in every direction, and grinned widely. He sat up, straddling Deceit, but never letting his tentacles stop moving. “I mean, technically I am torturing him, just not in the way you thought.”

Deceit was making small noises, and Remus waved to the Light Sides.

“Unless you want to see some stuff you would probably rather not see, I suggest you go away.”

Roman grabbed Thomas’s arm and sunk out, the other Sides following immediately after. Virgil stuck around for a few more seconds. “Make sure to use protection.”

“We’re Sides, I think we’re fine!” Remus yelled as Virgil, too, sunk out. “Now, where were we?” He purred, sharp teeth glinting. 

Deceit shivered. “I- I believe you were about to kiss me?”

“Excellent idea.”


End file.
